Don't worry, with the exception of the whole annoying year in picture video, this blog will be THE SAME! ha! gotcha! Now before you go closing your browser window, know that mine will probably be funnier than most.........(I hear my wife's voice saying "MIGUEL! STOP IT!" she's the funniest one out of the two, obviously)
I am actually, very thankful for this past year. Another year spent with the love of my life, best friend and inspiration. She is the person I admire and love the most in this world. When anxiety creeps in, I think of her and my boys. I think of my friends, my family, and all the things I love in order to try and calm down. I am a very lucky person, I have a great support system. I can count on a text of encouragement, a quote, and just love from them anytime I am not feeling 100%. I love them all, and they are the reason why I am going to beat this thing.
It's been a busy week! On saturday the gang got together and celebrated a surprise 30th Birthday! We went to a the Improv in DC. A very fun night...we even got to hang out with the comedians, apparently they have both been on "Chelsea Lately" and were actually really funny. 
In the middle of the second act, I started to get the usual signs. Tingles, tightness around my chest. A new annoying habit I have developed is taking my pulse. I look insane doing it, but just another thing to get through in therapy! I had to take a minute outside, process it, and let it go. As always, my darling wife came to check on me. In the middle of celebrating a friend, I could not turn my mind off long enough to enjoy the comedy, the company and the evening.
After a little while, I started feeling like myself again. And went on to enjoy the evening, as I should have been all along. I allowed myself to have a few drinks, Tequila, ooof! Apparently it is "the drink" for diabetics. As you know, alcohol is FULL of sugar. My friend, Katie, who is a nutritionist, advised me of what I should drink. As fun as drinking is, and I am able to keep my sugar intake low, drinking alcohol makes the GERD act a fool! It's a catch 22, guys. GERD produces too much acid. Anxiety accelerates the acid, which together means.....not a so fun 30 minutes to an hour. Well that's exactly what happened in the comedy club. I had greasy food, alcohol and boom, bad time. But I got over it, it went away, it always goes away. (Don't worry the cake Jenn is holding was for the surprise, she doesn't just walk around with cakes to places, and no I did not have any) That's the thing, folks. I have to just learn to separate what my mind is telling me, versus what is really happening. It is tough, it isn't easy, but with people like this around you, it makes it not so scary. Don't get me wrong, It is debilitating, paralyzing fear that creeps in, but it passes. It goes away. Although I may feel like I'm dying, I am not. I am alive, and every day that I don't die? that's a good day!
Last night, we had a nice family dinner to ring in the new year together. It was a lot of fun. After a long day of back to back doctor's appointments, and errands, I was looking forward to it all day. We of course made a gourmet meal. Everything made from scratch, pasta, chicken saltimboca, mozzarella caprese, caesar salad, spinach dip (from yours truly) and other goodies.
No better way to say goodbye to 2013, and welcome the new year than with the people you love, and can't live without. All and all, I am excited for the challenges of the new year. I do want to do some of the cliche things, i.e.: Loose weight, quit a bad habit, (like checking my pulse) pick up something healthy, and most of all, get rid of the panic that stops me from doing all the things I love. Spending time with my friends, with my wife, with my family, singing, being silly, being the person I know I can be, and want to be.
These are the people I love to spend my time with. And I am thankful for them, every single day of my life.
"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the now"-Lao Tzu.
Friends, (that's right, if you are reading my blog, you are now a friend, or a family member, or most likely one of those stalkers, either way, read and like!) these are words to live by. Don't get me wrong, depression, anxiety, diabetes, addiction, all these "mental" things are hard to give up. The key again, is to find your own path, your own motivation, and your own method to cope. I battle my "demons," anxiety, diabetes, and that pesky GERD. I know what I have to do, I know what I must do, however, the right thing, is not always the easiest.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE CUTEST FOUR LEGGED MATHEUS!
Love you.
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