I can do......WHAT?!

"Love means never having to say you're sorry"-Said by someone in some lame movie. I mean, are you serious?! I say Sorry all the time! Love is your wife suggesting we stay in all weekend and watch Harry Potter from the beginning, THAT. Is. Love. Don't believe me? BOOM! And so Mr. Potter's journey begins!

Much like Harry, I continue on my journey, it does not involve magic ( I mean, a little! I feel like an owl will drop my letter any day now! And of course I will be in Gryffindor, Duh) It  involves, dedication, hard work,  and the support from the love of my life and my amazing friends and family, to whom I owe my most recent success-wow I just got the chills you guys!- I guess if I wanted to compare, Diabetes is my Voldemort, only one can survive!..........................WHHHHHHHATTT?!

For my BLVD B Faces

One of the many many glamorous parts of being diagnosed with Diabetes is that every two months you have to get blood drawn. This past Monday I went for my routine visit. My favorite part of the process is sitting down with my Doctor, and her reiterating the, "you will die if you don't take care of yourself" spiel, immediately followed by the oh-so-familiar feeling of extreme guilt, thinking I am not eating well enough, or working out enough. Remember how I am a HUGE hypochondriac?! Well, while she is saying "Your blood pressure looks good, we haven't had to increase your medicine, you've lost weight," In my head I hear, "you are going to have a stroke. You are still too fat. If you aren't careful, you will loose a limb"-crazy right? Well........hypochondriacs have a hard time hearing the good things about our health, we just plain ignore it. Instead we replace the good news with the many "what ifs,'' those are a bitch. I am really working on just living, getting out of my head, and focusing on my triumphs, instead of negativity. 

I have lost 30 lbs since last July, it has almost been a year, I know, but given my I-could-care-less-about-what-I-eat-I-hate-excercise phase, I think it is quite an accomplishment! As I mentioned in my last entry, I have really tried very hard to get back on track,  a healthier lifestyle, for a healthier me.  

I have been working out A LOT, these past few weeks, and my body hates it! 

<---Does that look like the face of someone on the "runner's high"?!  That's because it isn't!!! This is what it looks like for the first 5-7 minutes of the elliptical.  Apparently this is called a "warm-up," to me it feels like "DYING." Well to be honest, it has become less time now where I feel like that, and more time actually enjoying the fact that I can do................THIS--------->!

That is almost 4 miles in 40 minutes, and for those of you that say "oh the elliptical is so much easier than the treadmill," Well, SHUT UP! It is super hard, especially when you're doing the Hill Climb Setting, it sucks, but my legs have never looked better, and I was able to do a 9 Minute mile yesterday, so yeah. This is what it looks like when I am done. SELFIE!!!!! I just wanted to make sure I could show you that it is no joke, if the elliptical was sooooooooooo easy, I would NOT be sweating like that!! Today I reached another small goal, I actually ran for 15 minutes on the treadmill! I have always thought that those outdoor runners are such a-holes, but in reality I am envious of their endurance, so I have challenged myself into becoming one of those D-bags who can run a few miles without collapsing. I will NOT lie to you, I felt like my calves were on fire, my whole body was screaming  in discomfort. Full on poker face, I looked like I was a natural runner for those few minutes, while my body ached and "End of Time" by Beyoncé Played loudly in my ears. In my head I was screaming "I AM RUNNING! I AM REALLY DOING THIS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  In addition to my cardio, and at my doctor's request to prevent "flabbiness," I have added strength training, which means weights, which are much harder than cardio in my opinion, it is hard to tone!  I will have to fill you in later on those, just know that I started on Monday, and I am so sore, I can barely move. But it is a good sore, an accomplishment.  

Every morning after I work out, I come home, and Jenn is ready with our breakfast, God I love that woman! We usually have egg whites, some type of turkey sausage or bacon, or apple chicken sausage from Trader Joe's, a bagel thin, and Juice. NOT your sunny D type of Juice, we have started to juice vegetables, and use it as a multivitamin. It is tedious to rinse chop and juice, but my Jenn does it for us! The juice is not something you get used to right away, it has an acquired taste, but it is really good for you! I shoot it, Jenn sips it, I'm all about business. We juice Kale, Celery, spinach, ginger, cucumber, cilantro, parsley, lemon, lime, and half an apple. Yes, it tastes like dirt, at times.

Every now and then I take a bottle to work, if we make a big batch for breakfast, and drink it as my mid-morning snack. (side note, completely obsessed with Tervis) Other wise, I have a Green Apple, with some fat free cheddar cubes, in the morning, and some berries in the after noon.  

The best part of this routine, is the fact that after my visit on Monday, my doctor reassessed my progress, and suggested that I may be able to stop taking my diabetes medication. When the words came out of her mouth, I thought, "Nah, that's probably not going to happen" As usual I had to wait a few days for the results. I am able to check them online, yet another thing I like about my doctor's office, and saw that there was a note saying. "You can stop taking  Metformin, make sure to keep dieting and exercising, and we will test your levels in a few months :)" I couldn't believe it!!!  I shared the news with all my CDCM's (Cool Diabetics Club Members, yeah I made it up! also it is me and all my sassy ladies from work) And their reactions were priceless! They are so supportive of me, and now I have more people making sure that I don't slip, especially when the donuts are flying on a Friday morning! 

For peace of mind, I test my levels twice a day. As I have mentioned normal levels of BGL's (blood glucose levels) are between 80-120.  I Tested 2 hours after breakfast, and it was at 96, and then only an hour after lunch and it was 110! After you eat, it is more likely for a spike, but mine were normal! I still can't believe that I can do this. As with any obstacle in life, at times you feel defeated, like you cannot go on. Again, it is ok to give in to the fear sometimes, otherwise it will eat you up. You just have to make sure that you don't let fear TAKE OVER, instead use it as fuel to get you to reach your goals, be your inspiration, but most of all your motivation. 

Today, I am optimistic about my future, it was my first official day off medication, and it went well. I am finally feeling like I can do this, I can take back my life, and not become another sad statistic. I am very lucky, I diagnosed early, young, yes, but early.

Thumbs Up! ( It's becoming a thing with being optimistic and all)

Remember when I had a blog?!?!?!?!?

Yeah, I forgot about it too. That's my "whoops" pic, also I figured it made me look like I was really sorry about not filling you in my incredible and amazing adventures.

Lez be honest guys, the past few months have been filled by a lot of Lamping. (Lamping-noun- meaning to not do anything but relax, as if just staring at a lamp. This action may be done with, or without the company of your best friends on a couch watching movies, eating delicious foods, at the Blvd.) Oh god, not I must explain what the Blvd is, (Blvd-location where dreams come true, and best friends become family) I know what you are thinking, "Miguel! you have the diabetes! why aren't you up and working out and blah and such, and what have you," well to you I say, "I DO!" Well I do NOW.

Alright, here is what has happened since my last blog entry;
1. I said "f*%@! dieting!
2. I gained a whole bunch of weight back
3. I started feeling sick, and bad about myself, including feeling body aches (those are a bitch)
4. The support of my wife and friends have helped me get back on track.

So there you have it, caught up. see ya!

Wait, you want me to tell you about it? FINE!..........................stop being so pushy.

Let's start with how I completely gave up dieting and working out. So if you weren't already aware, dieting and working out is.................BULL$H!T! Yeah, I hate people who are all "working out is my high" or "I only eat for FUEL" to those assholes I say "no one cares." (side note, I also despise people who "go for a run" stay home and be fat like the rest of us! and by "despise" I really mean envy, more on that in a bit)- When I was first diagnosed, I was scared, and followed my diet to the "T" I mean I was weighing proteins, and by "I" I mean Jenn, I was eating 5 small meals a day, working out every morning, and yeah I lost a bunch of weight, and my health was on the right track, but then life happened. We moved, which made it hard to keep a strict routine for meals since our lives were boxed, then came the biggest most favorite Fat American Day, Thanksgiving, then it was Christmas then it was  the New Year, then it was excuse after cheeseburger, after excuse, after cakes, after milkshakes......you get it. I found myself not caring what I was eating, nor if I got any type of exercise other than the walking I do day to day, you know walking to and from the car. Surprisingly I ended up gaining back all the weight I had lost, and then some! WHAT?! Did you know that could happen?!

It wasn't until about 6 weeks ago that I woke up, my body was hurting, and I went to the bathroom and gave myself a real good look, of course I looked horrible, I was fatter than ever, tired and extremely depressed-which is apparently a side effect of the medication for this F-ing disease, also memory loss, anger, and so on and so forth, awesome, right?-so I felt like I was trapped in a "glass cage of emotion!"

I did binge on food a lot, but then I decided to give myself a deadline, I started juicing, as a multivitamin, and eating more sensible meals. I have decided that the worst thing I did was just give in to all my cravings, so now instead of trying to suppress them, I allow myself to have a few "bad" meals a week. Find a good balance between cravings and binging, those are TWO different things, I see that now.  I have been waking up at 4:30am and go to the gym and work out, I've just been doing cardio 3.5  miles or so 4-5 times a week on the elliptical. It is much easier to stay on the right track during the week, with work hours and routine, the weekends are a little tougher, but as long as you have good people in your life, like my wife, and my Blvd crew, who remind me that I have to LIVE, NOT survive, the weekends are not my downfall any more.

I am not going to lie to you, just the other day, I woke up feeling down and hopeless, but it's ok. I am human, I will have those days, where I just don't want to "try." Guys, come on, diabetes is no joke. I have a fear every day that it is going to kill me. I go to work, and see people with their sugar levels super high, shooting insulin, feeling like they are going to faint. It is scary, I fight my fears, but sometimes, they creep in. Every once in a while, you have to let fear do what it wants, but make sure you take reigns and work it out. It's an understanding, you know your fears are there, and they know you only let them come out every now and again.

Tomorrow I am going for my routine blood work, another exciting part of being a diabetic, is that you have to go see your doctor every 2-3 months for blood work, to make sure they don't have to up the dosage of your medicine. I will make sure to be honest with her, I mean scales don't lie.  It is still a struggle, the road is not easy, but then again, it is just something I have to do. I will continue to try to keep a good balance, and continue to live.

Until next time!