Obese Holidays.........

Hello Friends! I know, I know, it has been quite a while since my last entry-Not to worry, I am here to catch you all up!

The months of November and December represent different things to different people. It is the kick-off to the Holiday season, and also the beginning of the end........of the year-but according to Mayans this year will be the end of the world, so there you go.

The first, and in my personal opinion most important/delicious/amazing, Holiday is THANKSGIVING, a day where Americans of all ages give thanks for how fortunate their lives are. It is celebrated by having a delicious home cooked meal. An abundance of turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, breads, pies, pasta dishes, stuffing, and vegetables (I mean aren't potatoes vegetables? who needs more than that?!?!) As a newly diagnosed diabetic, I thought that this day was over for me. However,  that was not the case. I enjoyed 4 days of leftovers, like most people. I mean I was eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, people. My wife made an amazing dinner for us, and we enjoyed it as a family with my mom and our boys, in the middle of our new apartment, which is still under the "settlement" phase. We ate in the middle of our living room with an air mattress behind us, but it was our holiday. Having this disease does not mean that I can no longer enjoy Holidays, which let's face it, are based on amazing, unhealthy, finger-licking good meals. As long as I keep working out, and continue on my diet, things will be fine.

Well, this brings me to a struggle I have been having, WHICH is normal, don't judge! Ever since my delicious Thanksgiving meal(s), I have had trouble keeping my strict diet, oh and working out, that has also been really tough since then.......

I did join a gym, which is open 24 hours a day, and I have been going  about 4-5 times a week at 4 am. I have met with a trainer, since it was free with my sign up, and they have given me a work out plan, which I have been following. Alright, listen up-working out is HARD!  Dieting is HARD!  This whole thing has been extremely hard! Yes I have lost weight, yes me levels are becoming normal. But I have reached the point, where I am not motivated. It is taking a lot more for me to want to do those things, I mean, I am human. I'm not an athlete, who gets paid to do these things. The first 30 minutes of my cardio are hell......still. Then the "runner's high" kicks in and it makes the last 30 minutes bearable. I do have to thank music because it pushes me. So yes, it is difficult, and annoying, but I will get through it.

Christmas will be coming up before you know it, and then a new year will begin, so then I will just keep up my dieting and working out, alongside all those people with New Year's resolutions, except I will not be giving up in February. I will have to continue to keep going, even though I may get tired, and may be unmotivated to do it, I now have the push that I need. If I don't work out more than I was before, then I will end up having to be on medication, and maybe worse, have to take insulin. I will do my best to not have to resort to that.

This past week I got a glucose meter. My doctor said I didn't need it, because my levels are not that high, and I am not in a bad stage, and we have caught it early enough, and blah blah blah. But when she said that I could get one for "peace of mind" I jumped on it! Clearly, she knows how my mind works. I always think my levels are super high, and that I need to not eat anything with sugar ever again, and that no matter how hard I work nothing will change-That is how my mind works, I know it isn't right, but it is what it is-  As much as I dreaded having to prick my finger and have a machine show me my worst fears, I decided to get one. It arrived this week, and I was scared to test the first time. I of course did it wrong, and had to prick my fingers like 13 times because I didn't put the needle on the right level, so it only barely cut through the skin and then not enough blood came out, and I just kept having to do it, until it worked! Well my first result was normal, and it was between meals. (your sugar levels are supposed to be normal between meals, your sugar will always be a little high when you eat, and that is normal) I have tested about twice a day, and the results have been good. My biggest fears are not my reality, and that is something that I have struggled with. I have always not accepted things to be "real" or "good enough" I am very tough on myself, and that is why I always expect the worst. Man that sounds awful, and depressing, but it is the truth. Working out, eating right, and taking medication are the right things for me to do, and even though I have been doing them, I did not think they were necessarily "working".  I have lost 25 lbs, but somehow I feel like I am fatter, My sugar levels are normal,  yet I think they are too high. See what I mean? I am crazy, right?! well that's what I have thought all along, but it turns out, I am human. A food-loving, a worry-to-much, human. We all have insecurities, even the most confident of people have them. Mine just sometimes happen to get the best of me.

This is the biggest-fattest-most-ridiculous-most-big-fat-obese season of the year! (like that Cindy?) And as much as I will try to make all healthy decisions, I will be eating some delicious fattening meals. I will enjoy my obese holidays, like an American damn it! Till next time folks.........