Remember when I had a blog?!?!?!?!?

Yeah, I forgot about it too. That's my "whoops" pic, also I figured it made me look like I was really sorry about not filling you in my incredible and amazing adventures.

Lez be honest guys, the past few months have been filled by a lot of Lamping. (Lamping-noun- meaning to not do anything but relax, as if just staring at a lamp. This action may be done with, or without the company of your best friends on a couch watching movies, eating delicious foods, at the Blvd.) Oh god, not I must explain what the Blvd is, (Blvd-location where dreams come true, and best friends become family) I know what you are thinking, "Miguel! you have the diabetes! why aren't you up and working out and blah and such, and what have you," well to you I say, "I DO!" Well I do NOW.

Alright, here is what has happened since my last blog entry;
1. I said "f*%@! dieting!
2. I gained a whole bunch of weight back
3. I started feeling sick, and bad about myself, including feeling body aches (those are a bitch)
4. The support of my wife and friends have helped me get back on track.

So there you have it, caught up. see ya!

Wait, you want me to tell you about it? FINE!..........................stop being so pushy.

Let's start with how I completely gave up dieting and working out. So if you weren't already aware, dieting and working out is.................BULL$H!T! Yeah, I hate people who are all "working out is my high" or "I only eat for FUEL" to those assholes I say "no one cares." (side note, I also despise people who "go for a run" stay home and be fat like the rest of us! and by "despise" I really mean envy, more on that in a bit)- When I was first diagnosed, I was scared, and followed my diet to the "T" I mean I was weighing proteins, and by "I" I mean Jenn, I was eating 5 small meals a day, working out every morning, and yeah I lost a bunch of weight, and my health was on the right track, but then life happened. We moved, which made it hard to keep a strict routine for meals since our lives were boxed, then came the biggest most favorite Fat American Day, Thanksgiving, then it was Christmas then it was  the New Year, then it was excuse after cheeseburger, after excuse, after cakes, after milkshakes......you get it. I found myself not caring what I was eating, nor if I got any type of exercise other than the walking I do day to day, you know walking to and from the car. Surprisingly I ended up gaining back all the weight I had lost, and then some! WHAT?! Did you know that could happen?!

It wasn't until about 6 weeks ago that I woke up, my body was hurting, and I went to the bathroom and gave myself a real good look, of course I looked horrible, I was fatter than ever, tired and extremely depressed-which is apparently a side effect of the medication for this F-ing disease, also memory loss, anger, and so on and so forth, awesome, right?-so I felt like I was trapped in a "glass cage of emotion!"

I did binge on food a lot, but then I decided to give myself a deadline, I started juicing, as a multivitamin, and eating more sensible meals. I have decided that the worst thing I did was just give in to all my cravings, so now instead of trying to suppress them, I allow myself to have a few "bad" meals a week. Find a good balance between cravings and binging, those are TWO different things, I see that now.  I have been waking up at 4:30am and go to the gym and work out, I've just been doing cardio 3.5  miles or so 4-5 times a week on the elliptical. It is much easier to stay on the right track during the week, with work hours and routine, the weekends are a little tougher, but as long as you have good people in your life, like my wife, and my Blvd crew, who remind me that I have to LIVE, NOT survive, the weekends are not my downfall any more.

I am not going to lie to you, just the other day, I woke up feeling down and hopeless, but it's ok. I am human, I will have those days, where I just don't want to "try." Guys, come on, diabetes is no joke. I have a fear every day that it is going to kill me. I go to work, and see people with their sugar levels super high, shooting insulin, feeling like they are going to faint. It is scary, I fight my fears, but sometimes, they creep in. Every once in a while, you have to let fear do what it wants, but make sure you take reigns and work it out. It's an understanding, you know your fears are there, and they know you only let them come out every now and again.

Tomorrow I am going for my routine blood work, another exciting part of being a diabetic, is that you have to go see your doctor every 2-3 months for blood work, to make sure they don't have to up the dosage of your medicine. I will make sure to be honest with her, I mean scales don't lie.  It is still a struggle, the road is not easy, but then again, it is just something I have to do. I will continue to try to keep a good balance, and continue to live.

Until next time!